Funnies

One Liners

Why are frogs so happy?: They eat watever bugs them!
What does a frog wear on St. Patrick's day?: Nothing!
What did the frog dress up for on Halloween?: A prince.
How many frogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?: One frog and 37 light bulbs, slippery hands, ya know.
Whats the preferred car of frogs?: The Beetle.
What's green and jumps?: A frog!! (groan!)
What's green and red?: A very mad frog.
What's green with red spots?: A frog with the chicken pox!
What's green with bumps?: A frog with the measles!
What's black and white and green?: A frog sitting on a newspaper.
What's green and dangerous?: A frog with a hand-grenade.
What's white on the outside, and green on the inside?: A frog sandwich!
What do you say to a hitch-hiking frog?: Hop in!
What happens when two frogs collide?: They get tongue tied!
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?: Open toad!
What do frogs do with paper?: Rip-it!
What is the first book a tadpole reads?: Metamorphosis by Kafka.
How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg?: Unhoppy.
What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit?: A rubbit!
Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes?: He liked a good croak and dagger.
What happened to the frog's car when his parking meter expired?: It got toad!!
What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again?: A dirty double-crosser!
What's green green green green green?: a frog rolling down a hill
What is a frogs favorite time?: Leap Year!
Why did the frog go to the mall?: Because he wanted to go hopping.
I was walking down the alley one day and I saw a frog kicking a can. I asked him what he was doing.: He said, "I'm moving!"
Why did the frog walk across the road?: He didn't... he jumped.
Why did the frog cross the street?: because the chicken crossed the road.
Why did the frog cross the road?: to see what the chicken was doing.
Why did the frog cross the road?: Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.
Why did the frog stop in the middle of the road?: To get hit by a steamroller
Why did the frog stay in the middle of the road?: He ran after a fly and was hit by a car.
Why did the frog cross the road?: If a chicken can do it so could he!
How can you tell if a frog doesn't have ears?: You yell "Free Flies" and he doesn't come.
How do you confuse a frog?: Put it in a round bowl and tell it to take a nap in the corner.
How does a frog confuse you?: When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.
How do you apologize to a witch?: Ribbit!
What did the frog say to the fly?: You are really starting to bug me!
What does a frog say when it sees somethin' great?: Toadly awesome!
What do you call a frog with no legs?: It doesn't matter- he won't come anyway.
What do you call a frog with legs?: Dinner.
What did one frog say to another?: You're such a WART!
Why did the frog croak?: Because he ate a poisonous fly!
What is a frog's favorite game?: Croaket
What did the frog order at McDonald's?: French flies and a diet Croak
What does a Romulan frog use for camoflage?: A croaking device!
What happened to the cat and frog when they got run over?: The cat had nine lives, the frog just croaked.
Why did the frog say meow?: He was learning a foreign language.
How come the frog didn't get to be the Easter Bunny?: Slippery hands...they were afraid he'd drop the eggs!
Why did the frog go to the hospital?: He needed a "hopperation" !
What is the thirstiest frog in the world?: The one who drinks Canada Dry!
What's red and green and goes 175 miles an hour?: A frog in a blender.
What do you get if you add milk?: Frog nog!
What happens if you drink frog nog?: You Croak!
What do ya call a frog's favorite soda?: Croaka-Cola!
Why did the motorcycle rider buy a pet frog?: To pick the flies out from between his teeth!
"Waiter... Waiter... Do you have frog legs?": -"No!... I always walk this way!"
"Waiter... Waiter... Do you have frog legs?": -"Yes Sir!"
"Then hop on over to the kitchen and get me a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich!"
How deep can a frog go?: Knee-deep Knee-deep!
What do stylish frogs wear?: Jumpsuits!
What does a bankrupt frog say?: "Baroke, baroke, baroke."
What has more lives that a cat?: A frog that goes croak every night.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?: He wanted to robbit.
Why are frogs such liars?: Because they are amFIBians.
How can you tell a frog doesn't have ears?: They don't move when a car is coming toward them.
What did the frog do after it heard a funny joke?: It started to croak up!
Why did the gag-writer turn green?: Cause the gag-writer was sick of writing frog jokes!

Back to STUPID JOKES.